My body had let me down but my mind hadn't. I decided I wanted an intellectual challenge — I wanted to return to school. My plan was to pursue some type of medical training. Medical school would involve more years than I could foresee, so upon recovery, I decided to become an ultrasonographer, which would realistically take two years.
My days in school were stimulating and rewarding. And, to my surprise, I was now sitting in the front row of class so I could ask questions and be questioned by the teacher. I felt proud when I completed the two-year program in diagnostic ultrasound.
The patient newsletter Geri Malter founded and edits.
I had a new career. My newly acquired knowledge enabled me to better understand my cancer and my body. I was my own advocate and regained some control. Beyond that, I understood other patients' emotional needs and could offer them the sensitivity I knew they needed.
My new knowledge had an added benefit. With each follow-up visit to my doctor, I felt the relationship was becoming more of a partnership, as I could now understand the medical terms and ask questions I had been too insecure to ask.
A new career was only the beginning of my emergence. I searched for years before finding a cancer support group that would accept me. Support groups are common today, but, surprisingly, in the '80s, most groups were only for women with breast cancer. Once I started participating in cancer support groups, I found meaningful new relationships. I was connecting emotionally and spiritually with fellow cancer patients. They gave me hope as I watched them accepting their challenges with grace and dignity.
With each new recurrence of my cancer, I needed to find a new challenge and set a new goal for myself. I couldn't put my cancer behind me, as some are told to do, because it had become a chronic disease and very much a part of my life. With each of my 14 surgeries, I felt a powerful force attempting to beat me down, but I would not surrender. As my strength would return, I would set my new goals and continue to grow.
I had found my voice, and, with my support groups and new "cancer friends," I became an advocate for other patients. Cancer patients had emotional needs that were not being addressed, and groups of patients were organizing and attempting to make a difference.
